Scared, yet Excited?

I'm leaving for college at Calvin in...just over 30 days.
Im really kinda nervous. I mean here is the thing(s)...I have known the same bedroom my entire (only) 17 years of life. and Now I have to just pick up and move out? What about my parents? and My friends?

I lost my best friend.

We got into a fight, and now we aren't talking. Lucky me right?

This is the picture I submitted for our High School yearbook!

What do you think?

I love it! I think its just all around perfect ;)

One Last Trimester

We just started 3 trimester at my school, and Im getting really nervous. Paul keeps saying that when I leave for  school (which is only a half hour away) Im going to forget about him and never look back. I know that he is wrong but only time will tell him otherwise.
How am I supposed to turn my back on the people who have been there the most for me?
My best friend Ris, is moving with her husband and baby to Florida soon. Because they are in the army and when it comes to the army you never know where you might end up. Im nervous for her to leave, because right now she only lives 20 minutes away from me and I bearly see her. What am I going to do when she is gone for real? In a whole different state? That scares me so much.
Plus, I am younger than most of my senior friends, So I have always spent my time with junior because they are closer to me in age. What now? They are all staying here, and Im leaving.
Im going to Calvin, and don't get me wrong Im ready to grow and start fresh and get a good education.
But leaving my mom in the process?
That scares me too.
She wakes me up almost every morning, and cooks dinner, and does all the shopping, and does everything.
She gives me money and helps me learn about taking care of myself. But that doesnt mean Im ready to be on my own. Graduation is 64 days away. That may not seem like alot.
But to me.
It is a
ticking time bomb.

Im so not sure.

What?
Yeah next year. I won't be here. I will be at Calvin (hopefully) but can you tell me what that has to do with the next 6months? Please? I don't get it. I know how you feel. You know how I feel. So why are you letting it hold you back?
I understand.
Its okay.
Thats a lie.
But its going to stay that way. Because I need you to thing that Im okay. I need you to believe that I can handle knowing how you feel, know how much you care. But knowing that it isnt enough. Is so hard. So so hard.
Meeting you. Was Fate.
Becoming your friend. Was a choice.
But falling for you. I had no control over.
But what now?
Im not so sure.
What now?

Brandie Brandie Brandie...

I got asked to go to prom.....by my BEST FRIEND! I cant wait! Its going to be so much fun, and such a great night that I just can't wait :D
PLUS Im going with my Best Friend Ris on vacation to South Carolina to visit her husband when he graduates from Basic Training with the army! Thats two weeks before prom and Im going to get a GREAT tan in the time im down there!
yaya!
My last play performance with Tri County High School is Friday, February 18th and Saturday the 19th too! Im one of the starring roles and hopefully I will break a leg ;)

Giddy!

Hahaha :D So apparently this is my favorite word lately :D I mean, my friend Tori is going to Prom with her friend whom she really likes and she is all cute and GIDDY about it! I love it, but Im making her feel like I am more excited than she is when really I am just GIDDY for prom in general! This is what I want my dress to look like :D But I want it to be red :D Cherry Red!
haha GIDDY!

My Sister! My Sister!!!

SHE IS COMING HOME! AH!

My sister got preggers right out of high school (well actually like the summer after high school) and I still love her, she made a mistake but she is dealing with it and I am fully supporting her no matter what. BUT my parents didn't feel so much the same. THey were a little bit unsure, angry dissapointed...typical parental feelings when there daughter who was headed to college got put in bad situation. So, she stop talking to my  parents and I have not seen her in so long. BUT she called my parents to apoligize, and she is coming home! Im freaking out! I can not WAIT to see her!

Thinking Thinking Thinking...

So, I miss my friend Ris the one with the baby a lot lately. I find myself sitting in a class wanting to write a note and then thinking, that the one person I would write all of my notes to. I mean yea I have Meghan, and Paul but...Ris was my note buddy<3 I guess I just feel like even though I have my other best friends she was always on the top. And now gas is so expensive we bearly ever see each other. Kinda stinks, because I just miss her! Plus when I think back to how my friend Kayla and I were going to stay in touch after she left...and now we dont talk anymore. So it scares me a little bit :/

Plus graduation is getting closer and even though I think about how excited I am there are times that I just don't know. I find myself sitting in my room and wanting to rearrange things to realizing that why does it matter because in three months everything will be in boxes and that wont be the bed that I sleep in anymore. Or the walls that I wake up to. Or the mom that yells up the stairs to get me out of bed. I am excited to graduate and go to college. But..Im going to miss my mom and...I just. IDK...mmiixxeddd feellliinngggsss!

Random...College and Senior Showcase

So, I have decided on Calvin :D I love it, and Im happy with my choice but this does mean the end of Color guard because they have no Marching Band. But this also brings a bunch of new beginnings and that makes me really happy. The only reason I will change my mind is it I can't get enough financial aid :D
I love my life and everyone it<3
So, The senior showcase, tryouts are like....NEXT WEEK! and I am a little bit nervous like...I am going to sing a song by Charlotte Sometimes and Im really excited I just...am a bit nervous because i choked in middle school. But no! This is the time I show people that I can do it!!

College...Calvin? or Western?

So a while back I recived a letter from Western Michigan University telling my I was accepted :D which of course make me really really happy. I have been looking at this school from a VERY longs time. But, ever since I was in 6th grade, my history teacher got me hooked on Calvin College. She was a really really great teacher and she is the reason that I love history. So today! I spent a good 5-10 min of dancing and jumping at the mailbox because I got accepted to Calvin! i just can not believe it! I didn't think I would get in, my ACT score was like 4 points below their average. I am so excited...But I was just as excited when I got into Western. So...NOW I dont know what to do. Calvin? or Western?
Well...
Calvin is.....34,000 dollars a year.
Western is......16,000 dollars a year.
BUT at Calvin I will be done for sure in 4 years. While Western it will take me 5 maybe even 5 and a half.
So, With Calvin I will already be working to pay back my loans and stuff.
I just don't know! I guess no it depends on the support I get from financial aid....

Colorguard

My passion: Colorguard

I love it with all my heart. Sarah Eldred is my inspiration and she was my coach for three years. There isnt really much I can say about it but that I love it and that I always will and that I plan to continue throughout my college years and when its over I will be sad, but I will love that I have gotten to have so many years with it<3 Every good thing comes to an end. That only brings a new begining

Best Friends!

I have four most best friends in the whole world :D
<3 She is the strongest girl I have ever met. She is 18 and married with a beautiful baby boy named . I love him to death. Also her husband whom I love to make fun of and loves to make fun of me is leaving for the Army soon. We have been friends on and off for the last 8 years and  I love her with all of my heart. We have so many memories together, like Marching Band, moving into her apartment earlyinthemorning/lateatnight, and her beautiful wedding too. We laugh together, we cry together and I love every bit of it!
I have been friends with another great person since I was 6, she is older than me and dumber than me! Haha just kidding! She has been like a big sister to me ever since I can remember and she always tells me what I need to hear even if I don't want to hear it. I love her<3
Another is my best friend too and I love her to death! She is younger than me and I treat her like a baby sister all the time. But I love her and I always will. She drives a really cute Bug and she has the prettiest long dark hair. We Love Subway and Two and Half Men! bahaha :D
 <3 is the one person who is right there to put me back together when I need it. I have been through a ton lately and this boy has been right next to me everystep of the way. We love skipping out on our nothing to do fourth hours together!! and We love Taco Bell!!
Theses people are equally important to my life and I love them all. I hope they know that I will always be there for them and hopefully them for me!

The start of a good thing

 Im a small town girl with big town dreams. I am a senior in High School :D Finally and making my way to the top! I love photography, even tho I just started! Next year I am going to Western Michigan University or Calvin College. Both very good schools...Im just not sure yet. Calvin is expensive and that I what is holding me back....Well I only have a few thoughts right no cause my puter is gonna die!